from Quidditch in America

“We knew from the get-go it was gonna be an uphill climb.  Over here, tackle football is king.  Even within the wizarding community.  It’s just something about our culture.  It thirsts for human confrontation.  We knew we had to give it to ‘em.  We’re not gonna field clubs like Puddlemere United or even the Chudley Cannons.  We knew our audience.  They prefer collision over precision.  Sure, the European leagues have all the tradition and trophies and money, but none of them have ever had what we have.  American Ingenuity.  Innovation.  Risk taking.  Hell, the sport of Quidditch hasn’t changed on the continent since 1883!  We knew it was time for some new blood.  New ideas.  So here in the American League we’ve incorporated the native muggle sport of lacrosse into the game.  Sure, we had the basketball-inspired ‘Harlem Shuffle’ move before, but who wants Quidditch when you could have Quidditch with sticks?  Here in America our sports need edge.  I think the risk has paid off.  The game of American Quidditch has soared in popularity.  Games are faster.  Higher-scoring.  Injuries more gruesome.  There’s nothing like watching a well-aimed bludger fell an opposing beater on a scorching Independence Day Tourney while wolfing down as many hot dogs as you can possibly fit in your mouth.  The sport has never been this big over here before.  Next season, we’re even expanding the league by two more clubs, the Dixie Dodgers and the Sheboygan ‘Wursts.  The future of Quidditch in America couldn’t be brighter.”